Noora Hägg

Hundreds of unshared videos, texts and thoughts.

Dear You,

I have decided to stop running around in circles and to finally do it. Now I have gained enough courage to write down these thoughts and publish them. It is my time as much as it is yours. I cannot wait for someone else to write a blog post for me and publish it. There is only I, who can do such a thing for myself.

Ever since I was a child, I’ve had a certain inclination towards performing. I wanted to share what I could do and express myself in various ways. I used to perform dance shows for my family, and even to strangers. If somebody pulled out a camera, I was there in front of the lens. I made YouTube videos with my primary school friends and ever since then I’ve loved posting on social media.

I have been sharing all kinds of things on social media for years now. Mainly for my own amusement… Perhaps also hoping for those posts to act as a certain kind of an archive, or a diary. I’ve tried so many things and I have loved most of them. But the problem has always been my desire to do everything at the same time. I want to make videos on YouTube and TikTok. I want to post on Instagram and on a blog. Making music and creating visual art have also been calling my name for years now. I haven’t found a balance between all of these things, and that has led me to this cycle of never-ending undecidedness.

There is also another factor that has cursed me on my contention creation journey (ugh)… And that is language. You see, I am a native Finnish speaker and finding a solid ground on that is much easier. But then again, I feel like I can express myself more vividly in English. This has all been a confusing mess, mixing up these languages in everything I do. Besides this, I feel that I do not have a consistent sense of self and what I want to post. Again, I want to do everything. I want to talk about the weird, niche things that interests nobody else around me. All of this has felt like an unmovable force against me.

But, earlier this week I fully realized something that has crossed my mind a million times before. My content can be as mixed as I want. I do this for myself and if somebody else finds solitude within this whole ordeal, I will greet them with a smile. I am my own demographic and I do not have to serve anyone else in a situation such as this.

Forgive me, if this text does not make any sense. It is a bit of a ramble, I admit. It is just that this whole ‘blog thing’ feels strange and scary. It can and does feel extra terrifying to get even a bit more personal. I do love writing and I don’t think that I’m too bad at it either. I think I’m fine!

I don’t know what will become of this. I’ve started writing a diary and making videos a bunch of times and then eventually given up on them. So, we’ll just have to wait and see. If you return someday, expect a blend of thoughts, posts and whatever else comes to my mind. Maybe this will open unexpected paths for me. Perhaps I will come up with some great ideas. If nothing else, at least I have gained a new experience. At least, I have opened my heart up a little.

<3 Noora